She’s the 24-year-old fake tan addict who’s captured Britain’s hearts. And she doesn’t half come out with some corkers. All hail, Gogglebox‘s Scarlett Moffatt!
We’ve been reduced to tears listening to Scarlett’s superb quotes, because let’s face it, the girl says what we’re all thinking.
Here are 21 of our favourites:
1. “What the fook was the point of that?”
2. “If you are feeling s*** about your life, you watch this” (on Bridget Jones’ Diary)
3. “He’s either nervous or holding in a fart” (about Scott from First Dates)
4. “Down south all they do is walk past each other and moan about the tube”
5. “He’s my twin, everyone says I look like him. I have the same teeth as him” (on Alan Carr)
6. “I’m not taking political advice from a f***ing hobbit” (when Martin Freeman spoke about the general election)
7. “When you think about the Catholic Church, it is a bit flamboyant, in’t it?”
8. “People with glasses tend to be s**t dancers. It’s just physics. The laws of physics” (about Gregg Wallace on Strictly Come Dancing)
9. “If I was that rich I’d spend that much, I’d have my tinsel farted out by fairies”
10. “Have you been in an accident at work? Where there’s a blame there’s a claim!” (when Madonna blamed her BRITs fall on her cape)
11. “She can talk to all these dead people but none of em told her her hair style is shit?” (during a programme about psychics)
12. “I always get him and Danny Dyer mixed up” (about Russell Crowe in Gladiator)
13. “I care more about some of these people than my own family by the end of it” (watching Great British Bake Off)
14. “To be fair the best part of my day is swiggling on my chair at work” (on a guy swivelling on his chair like crazy in Experimental)
15. “Look at him, how can you not trust him?” (about Boris Johnson)
16. “Superman looks exactly the same when he puts his glasses on and combs his hair… And everyone acts like it’s someone else. I don’t buy it. Batman has a proper disguise” (on why Batman is better than Superman)
17. “Evaporated milk? How would you add evaporated milk in? It’s not there”
18. “Oh he needs a f***ing friend. I’m going to befriend him honestly. I feel like ringing him up for a pint” (about a guy on Collectaholics who collects hundreds of teddy bears)
19. “He looks more like the next Doctor Who than the next f***king Prime Minister” (on Jeremy Corbyn)
20. “I only wanted to go on YouTube to watch a video of a singing cat and now I’ve hacked into TalkTalk” (during the TalkTalk hacking scandal)
21. “If you were flashing your vulva at a policeman, they’d say, ‘Come on, that’s not appropriate.’ And they’d go and get her some pants from the lost and found box. They wouldn’t be letting her sit on that seat. It’s unhygienic” (on that Sharon Stone leg-cross scene from Basic Instinct).