This month, we’ve had three baby bump breakthroughs: Beyonce came first, shortly followed by both Amal Clooney and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley a few days later. Add to that the fact that we’ve been waiting for a certain Cheryl to formally proclaim her pregnancy, and 2017’s set to host the biggest baby boom
- You’re off the booze, what’s your go-to maternity drink?
A – A fruity mocktail. Yum.
B – Herbal tea. Peppermint, preferably.
C – A green juice.
D – Breakfast tea. Through and through.
- You’re packing for hospital, what does your bag look like?
A – A bespoke bejewelled number. Sparkles are life.
B – A plush leather Prada hold all.
C – My yoga bag. Because I’ll be getting straight back to it.
D – A monogrammed metallic duffle bag.
- If you could listen to anything in the birthing room, what would it be?
A – Drunk In Love.
B – The news. There’s never an excuse to take a back seat on current affairs.
C – The sounds of dolphins. It’s proven to have calming effects.
D – One Direction, obvs.
- It’s time to swap your heels for flats, what will you go for?
A – High-tops and a snapback. Matching with the rest of my family.
B – Ballerina flats. Chanel, to be precise.
C – Uggs. <So> comfy.
D – Kicks. With a boyfriend hoody to match.
- You’ve just given birth, how will you spend the next week?
A – Rehearsing. Ain’t no rest for the wicked.
B – Resting with hubby and our new bubba at our country estate, of course.
C – At post-baby pilates. A healthy mind = a happy home.
D – I’ll spend a few days at home before hitting the shops to kit out our little one’s new wardrobe.
- What’s your ideal family car?
A – Mercedes G-wagon.
B – Anything safe and comfortable. A Land Rover will do the trick.
C – Porsche Cayenne.
D – Whatever comes with a chauffeur to help with the littl’un.
- Where will you go on your first family holiday?
A – Holiday? I’m way too busy for that.
B – The Hamptons. In a private holiday home.
C – A private wellness retreat with tranquil nursery for the baby.
D – Somewhere close to home and family.
- What’s your morning routine?
A – I’m usually on a tour bus, so I’ll be woken by the rest of the crew, or my manager.
B – Sipping coffee and the papers in bed before I take the dogs for a walk.
C – Wake at 5am for yoga before I come back and whip up an egg-white omelette before work.
D – Painting my face. After brekkie, natch.
- What’s your favourite snack?
A – Oreo cookies and soda. Delicious.
B – Freshly baked bread and soup.
C – Celery and carrot sticks.
D – A few slices of organic fruit, or a lollipop for the ultimate sugar hit.
- Hair and make-up at the hospital?
A – Only what’s leftover from the previous night’s gig!
B – I’ll prepare with a few semi-permanent treatments, but what will be will be.
C – Definitely not. I’ll be letting nature run its course.
D – Obvs! My MUA’s got 24h access to the birthing room.
- How much time did you spend preparing for the birth?
A – Am I allowed to say none? Time is precious.
B – The whole nine months; I’ve read almost twenty books on the matter.
C – I’ve been preparing my whole life. Mind and body.
D – A few months. Mostly decorating the nursery.
- How many times, on average, do you go shopping each week?
A – In my mind, everyday. In reality, my stylist will bring me new bits once a week.
B – 0. Once a month if I’m lucky. There are more important things to worry about.
C – Once or twice. Mainly for new gymwear.
D – Almost everyday. A girl can never have too many shoes, or bags, or clothes…
- Nine months has passed, what’s your outfit looking like?
A – The same as normal. Just bigger sizes, obvs.
B – Cashmere comfies, cashmere comfies and more cashmere comfies.
C – My usual yoga panties and sports bra. 24/7 now I’m on mat leave.
D – Of-the-moment jumper dresses and fitted midi skirts.
Mostly A’s: Get in Formation, ladies… You’re Beyonce! ‘Kay, not literally, but if you are/will be a mum anytime soon, you’ll do so with a Beyonce mindset. You’re basically superwoman, meaning work’ll have just as much of a hold over your life as before, while you’ll do an equally brilliant job at bringing up your bubba(s). Can we have some of your energy, please?
Mostly B’s: You’re Amal. You’ve got your priorities straight and know what’s important and what’s not in your life. At the same time, your style is seriously on point, and your baby stands in good stead for one hell of a baby wardrobe.
Mostly C’s: In through the nose, out through the mouth… You’re Rosie. Health is at the forefront of your life- pregnant or not. You know what’s good, what’s bad, and your baby is about to know it, too. Keep this up and you’ll soon be our ultimate fitspo. Oh wait…
Mostly D’s: You’re Cheryl. You’re the epitome of girl band mum. You look 10/10 all day e’ryday and you’re seriously chill about it. We give it one week before your baby is just as cool as you, and we’re idolizing them, too…