1) Get really creative with your Christmas card
We’re talking huge hair, crazy Photoshopped backgrounds and the odd Illuminati reference.
2) Buy the biggest tree you can get your hands on
Who cares if it ends up squashed against your ceiling? It’s all about making an impact.
When it comes to colour, keep it minimalistic. But (obvs) decorate with as many baubles/lights/ribbons as possible.
3) Throw a Christmas Eve party your neighbours will talk about for the next 12 months
You’ll need to wear a glamorous plunging gown and offer up around 25 bottles of vodka.
4) On the day itself, ensure you’re all wearing matching outfits
That includes pyjamas.
5) Get nostalgic by posting numerous #TBT snaps on Instagram
Because EVERYONE wants to see your mum’s dodgy 80s perm.
6) Invite as many people as possible
You’re allowed no fewer than 12 people in your house at any one time.
7) Invest in some seriously extravagant presents
Ferraris, designer handbags and Christian Louboutin shoes are all worthy of consideration.
8) Cook up a feast (or get your chef to)
You’ll be expected to provide all the trimmings.
9) Two words: Table decorations
This will take weeks of planning.
10) Let the Kanye West of your family give a lengthy speech
If they don’t mention the word ‘blessed’ at least 17 times it hasn’t gone on long enough.
11) Anticipate at least one major argument
Someone will have lost a diamond earring. Or they’ll have to leave early because they have a shoot in Paris the next day.
12) Hire a photo booth
How else will you remember the events of the day?!
13) Everyone should give back in some way
Despite your luxurious Christmas, deep down you know it’s not all about you.
Options include volunteering at a local soup kitchen or visiting ill children in hospital.
So there you have it. Merry Christmas, Kardashian-ites!