Robert Pattinson has really neglected us lately. Since the Twilight films wrapped, the actor’s been too busy working on ‘serious’ films to appear much in public, or answer our letters about coming round for an ‘Edward-themed tea party’. Frankly, it’s rude. But we’re not taking it personally (we are).
To celebrate his 27th birthday today, we’ve come up with 27 reasons why Rob is still the only vampire for us.
1. Right – *clears throat* – let’s get this one out of the way early on: He is sexy. So so sexy.
2. He plays the piano. Which, despite seven months of lessons and seven months of lies to our parents about having “just finished practicing”, we cannot do.
3. He got expelled from school, which makes him a BAD BOY. And you know how we all feel about bad boys (we like them) (assuming the bad boy looks like Robert Pattinson).
4. “I’d like to see Cheryl Cole back on the UK X Factor,” he adorably once said, subverting all our preconceptions about how he’d be way too cool for The X Factor. Hmm, imagine a cosy Saturday night on the sofa with Rob, sweetly debating the meaning behind Louis Walsh’s existence.
6. His middle name is Thomas. Which is… a great name? Shut up, it’s a reason.
7. Remember Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire? Of course you do, because it was Robert Pattinson’s big break when we all realized he was meant for big things. OK, we didn’t take any notice of him. But cool that he was in it, yeah?
8. LA might get to keep him most of the time, but he’s a Brit boy at heart, admitting in an interview once: “It’s episodes of Only Fools And Horses and Fawlty Towers that keep me going in the evening.”
9. The man is very forgiving (sorry to bring up the married-man thing again, Kristen Stewart).
10. While the rest of Hollywood’s leading men are stuck at Tom Cruise level, Rob’s a very appealing 6’1”.
11. He’s a Taurus and Taureans are – and we’re quoting very well-qualified astrology types here – “warmhearted and loving.”
12. Rob was born in the Chinese year of the Tiger. Roar.
14. He says his big hair is a result of him pulling it due to stress. He’s vulnerable and needs fixing.
15. He was named one of the “sexiest men alive” by People magazine in 2009 and 2010. We refer you to #1 on this list.
16. He supports Arsenal football club. So do we! Well, we do now.
17. He doesn’t like Uggs, which is great because we never wear them (in the summer).
18. 75,000 people signed a petition for him not to play Edward Cullen but he knew better. 75,000 were then proved absolutely wrong.
19. He once said this: “I have a romantic soul”.
20. “Round, female bottoms are very much a miracle,” says Rob. He just gets us.
21. Shoe size… 11. Minds out of the gutter, ladies.
22. He loves animals and shares a dog with Kristen, named Bear. Aww.
23. Even a fake Rob is loveable. A totally unofficial R-Patz account on Twitter has over half a million followers. Are you one of them? You know that’s not him, right?
24. His BFF is hot actor, Tom Sturridge. So, like, you get two for the price of one.
25. The man once invited a fan out for dinner when he was having “a bad day”. When’s it our turn?
26. He goes to extreme lengths for his art, once even learning how to scuba dive for a movie role. If that doesn’t scream ‘commitment’, we don’t know what does.
27. And finally, it’s his birthday, and everyone deserves to be loved on their birthday. Especially if you look like Rob.
By Ceren Senkul, 13th May 2013
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