Eddie Redmayne: Reasons To Be Depressed We’ll Never Marry Him

Eddie Redmayne daydreams are the only thing that get us through the week. We long to run our fingers through his auburn locks and be close enough to him that we can count the freckles on his face. Sigh. Join us for a giggle as we note the 15 reasons to be depressed that he’ll never be our husband… it’s just not fair. 

1. Nothing more adorable than a man who loves his mum. He’s taken Patricia (we’re on first name terms) to several red carpet events since he hit the big time. Instead of us.

2. P Diddy once told him: “I like your work” when they were peeing side-by-side at a urinal. We choose to believe Diddy was referring to his manhood.

3. At university Eddie studied History of Art. Which means if he ever gives up on the old acting lark, he’ll probably become some kind of hot historian wearing tweed and a bow tie, WHICH HAS ONLY JUST THIS SECOND BECOME SEXY.

4. Speaking of university, he studied at Trinity College, Cambridge. Y’know – that best-in-country place where the uber clever go. Have we checked he’s never been on University Challenge? *spends afternoon on YouTube*

5. His freckles. But P.S. In case you’re wondering, Eddie would like to confirm: “The genitals are freckle-free.” (We’ll double check this with Diddy)

6. Eddie can sing. Like, amazingly well. This is live.

7. He once said this: “A lot of people think theatre must be much harder work than film, but anything histrionic or superfluous gets seen on camera so you have to work to distil it into a complete sense of what’s true.” No clue. But how hot is it that he uses words like ‘superfluous’?

8. Even covered in blood and wearing what can only be described as a ‘blouse’, we would still do every kind of bad thing imaginable to him. 

9. He’s been a Burberry model. Which presumably means he can get free clothes? For us?

10. In an interview recently, he called himself a “complete fruit loop,” which is the most British thing to happen anywhere, at any time.

11. He fancies Nala from The Lion King. Which makes us feel better about our crush on the Fox from The Animals Of Farthing Wood.

12. He went to Eton school with Prince William. DOUBLE DATING WITH KATE AND WILLS. SRSLY.

13. Eddie started out doing Shakespeare on stage. He’s a Serious Actor.

14. He already has a gorgeous girlfriend, publicist Hannah Bagshawe, whose face he nuzzled and kissed on the Oscars 2013 red carpet. Bummer.

15. Wait… are we saying we definitely won’t be marrying Eddie Redmayne? *Calls Patricia for a cry*

By Lucy Vine and Rebecca Martin, 19th April 2013

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