You may have seen the word ‘Cinderfella’ bounding around the internet for the last few days.
If you’re not too sure what it means, don’t worry, we’re about to clear things up for you.
Coined by Michelle Martin, a journalist from the Huffington Post, the term Cinderfella refers to a ‘middle-aged single man with an insatiable hunger for intense emotional and physical intimacy’.
We’re not really too sure why this age bracket has been singled out, but Michelle underlines the fact that most Cinderfellas are likely to be recently divorced.
According to her article on Huffington Post, a Cinderfella wants ‘passion’ and ‘fireworks’, and they want to be ‘rescued’ from their loneliness.
Ok, whilst this may seem a little dramatic – which, coincidently, happens to be one of the criteria that makes a Cinderfella – we’re struggling to see this as a particularly bad thing.
Which single lady doesn’t want to find a single man that’s in touch with his emotions, and is looking for the fairytale?
Many men might just enjoy being swept off of their feet and caught up in that early crushed-out stage. Because, really, who doesn’t?
Some people may disregard this as completely unobtainable and reminiscent of a ‘Disney’ romance, but if women can have such an idealistic and hopeful view of a future relationship, why can’t men without being labelled as ‘dangerous’?
We are warned against persuing a relationship with a Cinderfella, saying that they ‘are too broken to maintain intimacy on a long-term basis, so they don’t make very good partners, at least not in their current emotionally needy state.’
Michelle goes on to say that dating a Cinderfella might not be a long-term thing, as he’s not necessarily ready for the everyday aspects of a committed relationship. We understand this might be something to keep in mind, so perhaps it might end up being more of a fling, but hey who doesn’t want passion?
Michelle writes: ‘Even though Cinderfellas often act like Real Men, they’re actually more like boys.’
According to the article, ‘Real men are mature. Real men aren’t driven by impulse or emotional neediness. Real men recognise that intense and immediate intimacy is nothing more than instant gratification, which will burn out as quickly as it ignites.’
It’s hard to ignore the fact that if this was written about how ‘real woman’ would behave in the early stages of dating, there would probably be a lot more of an argument against the idea.
We understand that both parties should be emotionally ready to embark on a new relationship, but we can’t help but feel that penalising any man for wishing to find an instant spark – something a lot of women might fantasise about if rom coms and romance novels are anything to go by – is actually pretty sad.
Also, if you happen to be dating someone you feel that spark with, and they seem keen, we’re hoping this won’t have you second guessing their motives. He might just really like you.
Romance isn’t dead.