The ’90s Are Back! Blur’s New Album Gets Us All Nostalgic…

Blur’s best album ever, we hear you say? But didn’t their discography peak with Parklife? Turns out, not at all. In fact, their latest offering The Magic Whip (rumoured to be drawing inspiration from 50 Shades*) not only contains lyrics about wanting to be a spaceman, it also features an entire song about ice cream vans.

And while you can catch the band at British Summer Time Festival in Hyde Park this summer (along with Taylor Swift!), they’re not the only ’90s trend we’d like to make an unexpected comeback…

*This may or may not be true.

 

Spice Girls fancy dress has never been easier Spice Girls fancy dress has never been easier

Glitter jelly heels, platform shoes and those spiral laces that you didn’t have to tie

Sure, so there’s a lot to be said for this season’s sneakers (mostly about the sudden sensation of blood flowing back to your little toe for the first time in two decades). But there’s no disputing the fact that footwear circa ’95 was strong. After all, it doesn’t matter what your school uniform is when you can dress like a Spice Girl from the ankles down.

 

Listening All Saints on your discman was just a right of passage Listening All Saints on your discman was just a right of passage

Upgrading your walkman to a discman, and using it exclusively to play Now 29

We’re not going to mention minidisks, because we know it’s a sore subject for the 10 per cent of the population who genuinely believed they’d stumbled upon something revolutionary in the electrical section of the Argos catalogue.

 

Trousers so big you could hide a member of SMTV live up there Trousers so big you could hide a member of SMTV live up there

 

Clothes that were either really, really big, or really, really small

Thanks to the all-powerful influences of All Saints, B*Witched and some guy in the head office of Tammy Girl clutching a neon scented gel pen and a sketchbook, half of the ‘90s were spent wearing camouflage pants so big you could use them as a tent on your Duke of Edinburgh Award Bronze expedition. The other half was spent wearing crop tops so small you could see your triangle-cut training bra out the bottom.

 

Inflatable armchairs that gradually deflated over the course of your day Inflatable armchairs that gradually deflated over the course of your day

Furniture that gradually deflated in the corner of your bedroom

Who needs IKEA flatpacks when you can build your own armchair using the power of your breath alone? Inflatable furniture was all fun and games until you accidentally sat down with your house keys in your pocket. Or you woke up to find your sofa resembling a melted-down snowman in the middle of your bedroom floor, and you had to spend 45 minutes dunking it in the bathtub to try and find the hole.

 

Christina Aguilera, aka the ultimate pioneer for maroon hair mascara Christina Aguilera, aka the ultimate pioneer for maroon hair mascara

Dressing up like a rainbow-unicorn-Christmas-tree thing, all in the name of fashion

Whoever it was who decided to create butterfly clips IN THE SHAPE OF ACTUAL BUTTERFLIES should win a prize. And then they should throw it in the bin. Because even insect-themed hair accessories, hair mascara or those roller-ball glitter sticks don’t compare to the genius business idea of paying £15.49 for a Claire’s Accessories assistant to bore a small hole in the nail of your index finger, hook an earring through it and call it a legititmate piercing.

Beanie Babies are supposed to be worth millions by now, right? Beanie Babies are supposed to be worth millions by now, right?

The hope that your Beanie Babies would be worth something, someday…

…And subsequently freaking out when your mum pulls the tag off by mistake.