1) When she gets engaged, you’re almost as excited as her… until the fear kicks in.
Suddenly you feel very old, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to be alone forever. You go on a severe Tinder binge and eat approximately four tubs of ice cream in 24 hours.
2) Organising a hen do = the most stressful thing in the world. Does she want to go abroad? Will her mum be okay if the willy straws come out? Will her mate Jane from uni EVER respond to your Facebook friend request?
See: Hen Party Ideas For All Brides
3) You have to admit, you’re a teeny bit miffed when she starts declining invites on Saturday nights out. She’s got to watch the pennies, remember? And there’s no way she’ll want a pizza night when she’s got a wedding body to think about.
4) She actually has a pretty scary side to her. Let’s not even talk about that photographer who cancelled…
5) You’re expected to deal with the in-laws for her on the day.
6) You have a moment of resentment for the dress you’re put in. She’s your best mate, but it’s still too tight/busty/long/short/gross.
7) If you don’t see her for a weekend or two, you can expect your last conversation to run into your next meeting.
For example: ‘Hi! Anyway, the caterers called and supposedly they can’t do a buffet for 77, which is very unreasonable and don’t even get me started on the florist who tried to tell me daffodils would look good…’
8) You’re required to carry a HUGE bag on the day. This is because you’re the keeper of safety pins, her deodorant, her make-up for touch-ups (which you’re expected to do), gum, perfume, hair grips and shoe insoles. You have no choice in this matter, obvs.
9) You cry three times. Once in the ceremony because it’s beautiful. Once during the speeches because her dad says the sweetest things about her and then once at the end of the reception because you’re so pissed you can’t stop telling everyone from the caterer to the mother of the bride how proud you are of them.
10) You take the groom aside and do your best Phil Mitchell impression: ‘If you hurt my mate, I’ll kill ya’. You think you sound hard, actually you sound drunk and unhinged.
11) You never thought seeing someone in a white dress could affect you so much. You 100% think she’s the most beautiful bride in the world.