OK, let’s kick things off (PUN INTENDED) by saying we do know that plenty of women love football just as much – more than – a lot of men. And we know that if you are one of those women, then you’ll probably be watching the World Cup qualifier tonight (6th September) anyway – for the love of… kicking or something. But – full disclosure – we are not football people. The only reason we even know a World Cup is happening is because someone sent us football-themed cupcakes (no, you can’t have any).
But if you have someone in your life (a boyfriend, for example) who is trying to persuade you that spending your Friday night watching the game with him is an excellent idea, here are 12 reasons why you should consider agreeing.
1. Come on then, let’s get this one out of the way early on. Men in shorts. Men. In. Shorts. Because you know what that means? LEGS. …And now we sound like our grandmother.
2. It is cheaper than any number of things you might otherwise be doing on a Friday. Drinking, clubbing, bungy jumping, throwing money out of a window.
3. Because think how funny it’ll be when your friend asks you what you did at the weekend and you start talking about ‘fixtures’ and ‘league tables’! (NB: We don’t know what those things we just said are).
4. Angry Bingo! Every time someone makes an obscene gesture, rolls their eyes aggressively, shouts something you don’t need a lip-reading expert to interpret – you get a drink.
5. Brownie points. You’re watching the football, so guess who has to come with you next week to the bungy jumping and money-throwing you love so much.
6. Remember that episode of Friends, where Chandler and Phoebe pretend to be really into a football game so they don’t have to help Monica with the Thanksgiving dinner? You too could use this game as an excuse not to help.
7. Think how well you’ll sleep afterwards. The hypnotic roar of the crowd, the quiet boredom of watching a man run up and down pointlessly across a perfect sea of tranquil, green grass… GOODNIGHT.
8. Maybe it’ll inspire you to get fit? It looks pretty easy on the screen, right?
9. WAG CAMERA SHOTS. It’s always entertaining checking out the WAG corner of the stands. Who’s ignoring whom? Who’s wearing what? Who did a Claudia Winkleman with her make-up?
10. It’s the perfect opportunity to check out Wayne Rooney’s gross head injury! The one he’s been moaning about all week? Oh, that’s if he’s playing. Is he playing? He’s got a head injury, so probably not.
11. You could so impress your boyfriend by casually referencing the off-side rule (side note: Learn what the offside rule is).
12. Hey! Maybe you’ll like it? Maybe this is the start of a New You who comes into the office on a Monday morning, unwraps your Arsenal scarf from your neck and shouts, ‘Who saw the game on Saturday, eh? Isn’t the ref a moron?’
By Lucy Vine
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