10 Gross Things All Women Do In Private

We know, we love you to think that we constantly smell of roses and wouldn’t dare pick our toenails on the sofa. But in reality, the disappointing truth is that us girls can be pretty disgusting when we want to be. We’re sorry in advance.

1. Nose hair


Yes, we have hair up our nose, yes we trim it and yes, we find it oddly satisfying. Watch out for the bat in the cave, though.

2. Smelling your armpits

television fox bob's burgers kristen schaal armpit

Something smells odd, and you’re terrified it’s you. Did you forget to put deodorant on this morning? DID YOU? There is only way to find out, and it’s called having a good old fashioned sniff.

3. “Showering”

rhony shower real housewives of new york city real housewives of nyc jules wainstein

Okay, sometimes we are too lazy or too busy to actually shower. Sue us. However, we think that a dry shampoo and wet wipe is okay. Right? (Please don’t sue us)

4. Picking out a hair from your derriere

Look, we have a big booty and that hair has to go somewhere. Kind of gross, but also kind of satisfying.

5. DIY pads

cat up back paper and

When your period arrives: hello darkness my old friend
When your period arrives unexpectedly: hello darkness my old friend featuring the worlds worst make-shift toilet paper sanitary towel #leaky

6. Plucking chin/nipple hair

real housewives rhobh real housewives of beverly hills shave adrienne maloof

No one can see the chin hair but we can and it’s driving us MAD. Though saying that, we like to play with it before we pluck it away.

7. Using gum to ‘brush your teeth’

beyonce beyonc bubblegum beyonc knowles crazy in love

We’ve all been there – you get to a hotel and you’ve forgotten your toothpaste and/or toothbrush. Which leads you to use the gum that has been sitting in the bottom of your bag. You know… the gum that’s been out of its packet and is covered in random bag residue. YEP that one. 

8. Popping spots

Domitille Collardey pimple pop it

Hello, red, open wound-infested face. We like to pop spots more than we care to admit and we will even pop yours if you like? Any takers?

9. Stubbly legs

rhonj real housewives of new jersey melissa gorga real housewives of nj i am woman hear me roar

Of course we like to touch our legs once they have been shaven, but there’s something about running our hands over our hairy legs that we like even more. It’s like stroking a pet. So satisfying AND we grew it ourselves!

10. Bras

celebrity edition denise richards guess bra

We get sweaty boobs, we like to scratch them and no, we don’t wash our bras everyday… Just like boys and their nether regions, then.

megan mullally ladies will and grace karen will grace