We’re told from a young age to always shoot for the stars by movies and supportive family members and while aspiration is imperative, it isn’t the be-all and end-all. Countless people you must know have raised their hopes for themselves and been disappointed. Sometimes you’ll be more successful by staying grounded and putting boundaries up for yourself.
And this totally sounds like a verse from the pessimist’s handbook, but don’t turn your nose up yet. Limits stop you from giving every inch of yourself to people and situations that don’t require it – it can be very be detrimental to your health!
Huffington Post consulted Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist, to collate 8 reasons why you should be setting your own limits and boundaries.
Creating your own limitation is by it’s very nature a self-aware action. To recognise the need to separate yourself from situations and people is an emotionally intelligent and prosperous lifestyle choice.
2. Be better to those who are close
Boundaries allow for re-charge. Those who love you don’t know your limits like you do and while you want to give them everything you have, you can’t be good to them if you have no energy or spirit.
3. Be better to yourself
Setting limits means taking some time for you. This isn’t selfish or needy, it’s a vital part of your survival as a socially active human. You need this, don’t forget that.
4. Create less stress
As Buck puts it: “Constantly allowing the needs of others to dictate your behaviour is exhausting because everyone has problems or stress of varying degrees. Without a boundary, we absorb the stress around us and our own psychological resources get drained.” For example, you don’t need to stress out because your colleagues aren’t doing as good of a job as they should!
5. Communicate better
Setting limits means opening a dialogue between what you can tolerate and what you can’t. Expressing your needs will pry the channels open for healthy communication.
6. You’ll become more trusting
Following on from that, boundaries stop you from acting based on control or fear. Expressing limitation shows others that you trust them and through this you’ll learn that people genuinely want to help.
7. You’ll become less angry
Without boundaries, you feel totally out of control. It gives other people control over your life because you’re not paying attention to who is piloting. This creates resentment and aggression which is generally not good.
8. You learn how to say ‘no’
“‘No’ may be a small word but it’s certainly powerful. The most basic way of establishing a boundary is declining anything you don’t have the capacity to handle. ” Simple as that.