The 10 funniest jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

This year’s Edinburgh Fringe is almost over, however the best jokes from this year’s shows have been rounded up. A panel of ten judges each nominated their five favourite lines from the 25-day comedy festival, which were then voted on by 2,000 people.

Here are the results.

1. “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans-free”

Darren Walsh

2. “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West”

– Stewart Francis

3. “Surely every car is a people carrier?”

– Adam Hess

4. “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter”

– Masai Graham

5. “If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go”

– Dave Green

6. “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.”

– Mark Nelson

7. “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day”

– Tom Parry

=8. “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves”

– Alan Cochrane

=8. “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle”

– Simon Munnery

10. “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…”

– Grace The Child

Read our interview with Fringe-favourite comedian Mae Martin on making it in stand-up.