‘Fear of commitment’ is an ideal that is referred to a lot nowadays. It’s not the same kind of fear as ‘fear of snakes’ but in the last 20 years has become a totally legitimised phobia. Like Kathisophobia (the fear of sitting down), fear of commitment doesn’t just affect your relationship but your entire life.
In self-help literature, fear of commitment has become widely written about since the late 80s and is now a chronic epidemic. What’s ironic is that so many of us experience it, it’s really good common ground for starting a relationship on.
If you’re currently on the fence between staying single and committing to a relationship, these facts are not going to do a lot to solidify your confidence. However, knowledge is power and these five studies could give you the perspective you need to avoid another car-crash relationship.
1. Getting married before you’re 23 is a terrible idea
It’s not a terrible idea because no-one is worth marrying that’s under 23 but rather a 2014 study found that American women who get married or cohabitate at age 18 have a 60% divorce rate while over 23s have a rate closer to 30%. Patience is a virtue, kids.
2. The Honeymoon phase lasts about a year
There’s a lot of debate around The Honeymoon phase and how long it lasts. Some say two months, others say two years. In fact, after about a year, a chemical called ‘never growth factor’ which is associated with intense romantic feelings starts to fade.
3. The happiest marriages begin with best friendship
Got that best friend that might not be right for you? Hold onto them, they could be your soul-mate. Actually, not your soul-mate, rather, your key to having a happy, healthy marriage according to this study from The National Bureau of Economic Research.
4. You should marry someone your age
Remember in school where you’d only go out with someone the same age as you? No? Well there’s logic to that approach. It turns out that “A one-year discrepancy in a couple’s ages makes them 3 percent more likely to divorce (when compared to their same-aged counterparts); a 5-year difference, however, makes them 18 percent more likely to split up.”
5. As for sex, quality over quantity
In one study, researchers split couples into two groups: one continued with their normal sex schedule and the others had sex twice as often. The second group were having more sex but were less happy. It probably has something to do with how tired they were… that or chafing.