This week our comedian columnist Anneka Harry discusses how exactly we can all make procrastination productive (seriously!) Enjoy…
My morning began with a (three strong coffee induced) panic about how much work I have to do today. In fact, I’ve been up since the crack of dawn mulling over just how much I have to do. I’ve written a detailed to-do list (complete with unnecessary but enjoyable margin illustrations) and even added tasks I actually completed yesterday so I could score them through again triumphantly. Last time I paid attention to the tele Holly and Phil were in bits because one of them had said ‘bottom’ and now the Loose Women are trying to find a solution to terrorism over PG Tips. Usually, if I haven’t achieved anything in my day before the sounds of that hysterical studio audience shatter into my lounge, I know I’m in trouble. Welcome to my daily freelancer horror.
Desperately hoping to find the pro in procrastination I try to look to the positives. Yes, I may have sat in my gym kit (and slippers) all morning but at least I got dressed! I’ve organised my bras into ‘need to throw out’ and ‘can probably get away with keeping a bit longer’ piles, re-arranged the plants on the windowsill for optimum plants-on-a-windowsill-viewing-pleasure and even completed the update my laptops been nagging me to do for the last 259 days. Not only that I’ve made up a song about a jealous woman in a polygamous relationship who wants out to the tune of Adele’s Hello (or ‘Hello from the Other Bride’ as I’m calling it), crafted an origami pterodactyl (by mistake) and eaten a whole loaf of white bread. And all of this before completing the Internet! I’d say that’s a productive morning.
So, in conclusion, productive procrastination is not an oxymoron. There are two real reasons for this. One is that we can often find more success and creativity when we manage delay. Now, I did have a really profound second point to round up on here but instead I wrote a poem about a Dalmatian, a Poodle and a Chihuahua all trying to woo a Labrador.
You see, it may not have been the intended task but what’s more productive than an afternoon penning a ditty about doggy dating for no reason? Oh, ‘probably whatever you were being paid to do’ I hear you cry! In fact, the script I was putting off writing (an online comedy animation with open brief) suddenly became a canine prison based romp. Orange is the new bark – and productive procrastination is apparently the new freelancer muse.
Read more from Anneka (isn’t she just hilarious?!) here…