Not returning library books is probably up there with the first minor crimes we commit as young’uns. Along with jay-walking, eating from the pick’n’mix and petty theft – withholding goods from your local council library is part of growing up.
This is the case because there’s pretty much no consequences to extending a two week loan to a 200 year loan. You hear rumours about students not being able to graduate from university until they return books but I’ll believe that’s a myth until proven otherwise.
However, a library in Alabama is the first to say that enough is enough. According to the News Courier, the Athens-Limestone Public Library has about $200,000 worth of overdue items. Either there’s some gas leak across the city making everyone forget their return dates or there’s a black-market book cartel running Athens.
Either way, the library is planning to enforce a city ordinance that makes it the law to return borrowed items. Violating this new parameter can result in a $100 and/or a month behind bars!
A month?! For taking a bit longer to finish The Goblet of Fire?! It’s a long book, give us a break!
“The taxpayers expect us to protect their investment,” the Athens–Limestone Library director Paula Laurita told the Courier. “We make every effort to be good stewards of public funds.” Even if that means jailing forgetful 13 year olds? Damn right it does. Get those menaces off the street… (the good news is that the library has no interest in jailing kids).
“Sometimes we hear, ‘I lent my library card to my cousin.’ I just want to ask, ‘Would you lend your cousin your credit card?'” She continued, “If they go and get $700 worth of clothing and you’re responsible for the bill, would you do that?”
This is an irrelevant point, you should never trust your cousins, like, ever, or libraries, for that matter.