12 Things You’ll Only Know If You Commute Into London By Train

How many can you relate to?

With The Girl on the Train set to open next week (Weds 5 October – yep, booked already), we’ve been thinking about our daily commutes – and the things that only other people on trains know.

Those irresistible little windows into other people’s lives that we glean from phone convos… Why does the Kardashian-wannabe spend ten minutes every morning asking her boyfriend who he was with last night? Unless he’s gunning for a place in the Arsenal line-up, nobody spends that much time ‘training’.

Fascinating as those little reveals may be, we’ll bet they don’t come close to the darkly psychological twists and turns of The Girl on The Train. An adaption of the best-selling novel by Paula Hawkins, the film stars the fabulous Emily Blunt as Rachel Watson, who becomes obsessed with a couple she sees on her daily commute.

To her, they appear to have the perfect life. But when the woman goes missing, Rachel believes she can help with police enquiries and things become complicated for everyone involved. The film will have you gripped from start to finish.

All this commuter talk has made us think about what we share on our daily journeys into the big smoke – from being inadvertent voyeurs to, well… how many of these can you tick off?

1) You’ve become a dab-hand at psychological profiles. Why does bad-hair-dye woman baby-talk on the phone to her other half for the ENTIRE train journey? And why is shiny suit man always trying to get hold of his son’s teacher?

2) You can’t function unless you’re in bed by 9.30pm. No school-night social life for you.

3) It’s turned you into a snack addict. Form grabbing a skinny latte on your way to the office or a bag of crisps to avoid crashing on your evening commute, it’s how you compensate for the drudge of life on the tracks. And you can’t help judging other people by what – and how – they eat and drink. Slurpers, take note.

4) Leaving your headphones at home = major meltdown. Without them, you find yourself staring creepily at other passengers who have them.

5) Power naps really do work. You don’t even care if you snore/dribble/lean on someone’s shoulder. Those minutes are precious.

6) Sitting in between two men = zero leg room for you. If only you had enough energy to battle it out for an equal footing. Meh!

7) You feel physically sick when you hear the words ‘increased fares’. Shelling out every month for delays, a lack of seats and broken air-conditioning or heating… ARE THEY JOKING?

8) Silly excuse season lasts all year. Leaves on the line, lorries hitting bridges, congestion outside the station (London Bridge, we’re talking about you) a cow on the tracks… we’ve heard it all.

9) Replacement bus services are the absolute bane of your existence. So. God. Damn. Slow.

10) You recognise other commuters and have nicknames for them. Example: Where’s Smiley Goth today? And I wonder who Angelina Not-So-Jolie is talking to on the phone?

11) You know how to work the platform. Those weirdly disjointed clusters of people oblivious to personal space signal where the doors will open, duh! You’ve learnt to do 0-60 in heels clutching your book, phone and a latte, thanks to short trains.

12) The doors can tell your future. When the doors open and close three times, you’ll be turfed off. Three is not always a magic number.

The Girl On The Train is in cinemas from 5 October, 2016. Watch the trailer below and book tickets to see the film at thegirlonthetrainfilm.co.uk