Hoorah! The work Christmas party has arrived.
A time for unlimited vino, dancing around the tree and for you and your colleagues to unite as one under the mistletoe. Too far?
Okay, so that might not always be the case. In fact, there are quite a few things that could (and probably will) go wrong amongst all the festive merriment.
Here’s exactly what you should and shouldn’t be getting up to…
1. Don’t snog your boss. Need we say more?
2. Don’t get so wasted that your assistant has to carry you home. All that hard work earning yourself respect will come crashing down. Down the toilet, gone.
3. Don’t tell anyone about your massive crush on the post-man. You won’t be able to stop blushing every time he brings a delivery.
4. Don’t tell your colleagues what you really think of them (if it’s bad). You will never – I repeat, never – live it down. And everyone else in the office will know about your nasty streak before you even arrive the next day.
5. Don’t tell them you love them either, unless it’s your work wife. Trust us, the feeling is almost definitely not mutual. Awks.
6. Don’t ask for a pay rise. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol doesn’t make you invincible, and asking for a pay rise while intoxicated is probably going to diminish the likelihood ten-fold.
7. Don’t divulge office secrets. You’ll quickly make a name for yourself as the office b*tch, and no-one likes one of them.
8. Don’t get so drunk that you vomit in front of everyone. Unless you’re actively trying to get fired.
9. Don’t think you’ve turned into Mariah Carey after two drinks and take over the karaoke mic. A video will be up on Facebook before you can say Hero.
10. Don’t over (or under) dress. Nipple tassels? Too far.
11. Last but not least, don’t turn up drunk the next day. A hangover is fine, but there’s only one way dribbling at your desk is going to end – and that’s through the nearest exit.
Merry Christmas, ladies! Our gift to you is having a job to go back to next year.