1. You’ve literally never worn the same outfit twice
2. You know your Natwest card number off by heart (online shopping = life)
3. If you sold everything in your wardrobe you’d be an actual millionaire
4. You pop into Zara to ‘have a look’ and leave with five bags and an extended overdraft.
5. You have a whole separate wallet just for your store cards
6. ‘I’ve had a bad day’ ‘I’ve had a great day’ ‘I’ve had an average day’ – you can find any excuse to justify your buy
7. ASOS’ New In section gives you repetitive scroll injury (but totally worth it)
8. Not buying something and then seeing it on someone else = your worst nightmare
9. You own more pairs of shoes than kirby grips
10. When a parcel turns up at your house, you literally have no idea which of your 57 hauls could be in it
11. Approximately 33% of your wardrobe still has the tags on
12. You check The Fashion Drop more often than you check in on your Nan. Sorry Nan.
13. You’ve definitely bought the same top twice. By accident.
14. If you don’t shop for 48hrs your bank rings you to report ‘suspicious activity’
15. You have more money in pending returns than you do your actual bank balance at any one time
16. You lie to your boyfriend about your new jacket and pretend it’s your sister’s
17. Your party trick is the ability to rattle off where every woman (and most men) got their outfit from
18. You truly believe that ‘shopping is my cardio’ isn’t a mantra, it’s a way of life
20. You know the terrible, terrible pain of palm blisters from carrying too many shopping bags
21. You spent your entire student loan on clothes
22. You have zero money to eat, but at least you look babin’
23. You named your firstborn Dorothy Perkins
24. Your average shopping trip involves at least six different trips to the changing room (per shop)
25. You get the nervy sweats if you haven’t checked in on Missguided for 24hrs
26. You find pleasure in buying even the most mundane of things. Dish sponges, anyone?
27. You convince yourself you’re a seamstress. ‘Too big? I’ll just nip it in on my machine…’ Said no one ever
28. You’ve perfected the art of taking off a white top without getting make-up all over the collar
29. You genuinely believe that shopping is a skill set, nay an ART
NOTE: It is.