An Open Letter To My Period

Dear period, 

I remember when we first met…

You rocked up on the eve of my 10th birthday, when my I was in the house alone with my dad. REALLY. Thanks for that. 

I don’t know who was freaking out more; my clumsy self, or my very red-faced father. 

OH CRINGE. 

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Dear period, 

You were a fictional monster I had only read about in text books.

I admit I had giggled over you with my prepubescent school friends.

Little did I know you would pretty much ruin my life. I guess you got the last laugh, eh? 

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Dear period, 

It’s your fault that I had to beg for a note to change in a seperate room for P.E at primary school. 

Didn’t anybody tell you that it’s way cooler to arrive fashionably late? 

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Dear period, 

That time you were an annoying attention seeker at the swimming pool was not cool.

You are not a good holiday companion. 

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Dear period, 

Thank you for ruining my best white jeans from French Connection. You owe me £85. 

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Dear period, 

My boyfriend also dislikes you. He curses your name (literally) for roughly one week out of the month. 

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Dear period, 

Thanks to you, not only can I not have sex, but I also can’t get to sleep… 

WHAT CAN I DO AT NIGHT TIME?

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Dear period, 

My light summer bed sheets aren’t exactly a fan of you either… 

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Dear period, 

I hate that you get the credit for my outbursts.

I’m actually pretty sassy, I’ll have you know. 

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Dear period, 

Ok. I don’t want to be a complete bitch. You’re actually a pretty good excuse to binge on hearty foods.

Did somebody say steak and chips? 

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Dear period, 

It’s actually super nice of you to remind me that I’m not pregnant every month. Goals. 

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Dear period, 

I guess we’re stuck with each other. So let’s just make the best of it… 

By Laura Jane Turner