The Most Ridiculous Things On Gwyneth Paltrow’s Gift Guide

When it comes to deciding what to buy your loved ones for Christmas, we doubt very much that you’ll be picking something from Gwyneth Paltrow’s ridiculous gift guide. That is, of course, unless you are in the market for a £1,000 vintage ball and chain or a £60,000 trip to the edge of space. 

While the total (not including those gifts with prices only available on request) reaches almost £350,000, Gwynnie promises that there is something for every budget on the guide. And what you can definitely be sure about, is that your loved one won’t already have one. Here are the 9 most ridiculous gifts on Goop’s hilarious list of potential pressies.

1. £83,000 Made-To-Order 18K Gold Dumbbells.

Taking missing-the-gym guilt to a whole new level.

2. A £725 Water Filter

You might think it a little extravagant, but the bonus according to Goop? “This really pretties up a kitchen counter.” A bargain then!

SEE: Christmas Gifts For Her

3. A Condom Dispenser

Just where did we store them before?

4. Gilded Playing Cards (For £1,500)

Adding all kinds of chic to the game of snap.

5. A Vaginal Steaming Set

Oh no, is this a thing?

SEE: Christmas Gifts For Him

6. An Outdoor Wood Fire Pizza Oven

Now this we can get on board with…can we borrow £1,300?

7. A Rosewood Handle Truffle Slicer

Finally! Weekday meals made easy.

8. A Trip Into Space (Well Not Even) For £60,000

An adventure to the edge of space in a hot air balloon. Perhaps for your adventurous uncle?

SEE: Christmas Gifts For Kids

9. A £160 Toothpaste Squeezer

Because once you’ve spent all your money on the above, you’ll need every single smidge of toothpaste you can get.

By Amy de Klerk