If you’ve braved a bodycon dress, you’ll know that they don’t come without their challenges.
Yes, they make your body look babin’. Yes, they are an incredible option for that hot date you’ve got pencilled in for Saturday night. And yes, they can be a pain in that perfectly emphasised ass.
1. How does ANYONE ever get ANYWHERE in one of these things?
Your guess is as good as ours.
Note to self: allow an extra half an hour to get anywhere on bodycon days.
2. WHY am I shuffling like a penguin?
Kim Kardashian certainly doesn’t have this problem, dammit.
3. This dress is more of a workout than yesterday’s spin class
And at least it’s cheaper than my gym membership.
4. Damn white van drivers
I’m wearing this dress for me, not to rack up my count of unwanted male attention.
Kindly go about your day.
5. The deodorant hazard is REAL
If you can squeeze yourself into your over-the-head skintight dress WITHOUT getting white powder all down the sides, PLEASE tell us your secrets.
6. Be sure to put your make-up on BEFORE step #5
Otherwise you’ll end up losing your face all around your collar.
7. On second thoughts, it doesn’t matter…
Because, you’ll be sweating off your contour the minute you try and walk anywhere.
SO. MUCH. EFFORT.
8. Shout out to our curvy sisters
Bodycon dresses may be the go-to dress for our shape, but nothing can prepare us for the chaffe.
9. The wiggle
Getting one of these babies on without an extra pair of hands? You know it.
Spare a moment to think about all those girls who live alone…
10. The underwear dilemma
Nothing’s getting hidden under there, girl.
Seamless, nude, barely-there G-string in sheer fabric? Pssh, might as well just go commando.
11. It doesn’t matter how long your dress of choice
…It will become a micro mini before you know it.
And you’ll spend most of the night pulling it down.
Sigh. The things we do for fashion, eh?