Jennifer Lawrence never fails to crack us up with her off-the-cuff speeches and uncensored interviews which is just one of the reasons we love her so damn much – our level of girl crush isn’t even healthy right now. And if you feel the same, read her top 23 gut-bustingly funny quotes and fall a little bit harder for the Oscar-winning actress.
Jennifer Lawrence’s mouth has a world of its own. No matter how hard The Hunger Games star tries to tone down her deadpan quips, she just can’t stop herself talking about sex swings, ‘bouncing breasts’ and her family’s wind issues. But that’s exactly why we love her, right?
Getting her ‘rents drunk at Harvey Weinstein’s party, doing shots before a red carpet interview and staring at Meryl Streep for a reeeeally long time in complete silence resulting in the most awkward Hollywood moment of all time are just some of the totally loveable things Jen’s done since hitting the big time.
She basically acts exactly how we would if we ever became famous (although I doubt we’d manage to endure that kissing scene with Bradley Cooper – what a chore) which is why we’re celebrating her priceless utterings with a round-up of her 23 most gut-busting quotes. We love you, Jen!
“I need to catch up on my drinking. I think that’s why I was so manic. Normally I have time to have a glass of wine… That’s not a good answer.” Yes it is, J-Law. Yes. It. Is.
“Was it on purpose? Absolutely,” she told the press after her accidental trip up the Oscars steps. A journalist then asked her what happened, she joked: “What do you mean what happened!? Look at my dress!”
“I was just, like, a pathological liar when I was a kid. I think I just wanted to one-up somebody. Somebody would be like, ‘Oh, God, my legs hurt.’ I’d be like, ‘Your legs hurt? I’m getting mine amputated next week.’ And that’s actually how my mother found out. She came to school and somebody was like, ‘God, that’s such a shame about Jennifer’s legs.’ She made me purge. I had to spill out all of my lies. I was like, ‘I said that Dad drove a barge, and we were millionaires, and you were pregnant, I had to get my legs amputated, and I spayed cats and dogs on the weekends,” Jen joked on The Late Show With David Letterman.
“As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it’s hilarious. [She pretends to farts, then laughs.] This is something my brothers did that now the boys at work are obsessed with. You cup it, and then you throw it in someone’s face and say, ‘Take a bite out of that cheeseburger!’” she confessed on The Late Show With David Letterman.
“I feel like all I’ve been doing lately is setting him up,” the actress revealed to MTV when asked about Silver Linings co-star Bradley Cooper. “I was like, ‘You know what? I’m gonna save time and just get you a booklet with pictures of my friends. You just go through and pick them out, because this is getting exhausting.'”
“Once I’m obsessed with somebody, I’m terrified of them instantly. I’m not scared of them — I’m scared of me and how I will react. Like, for instance, one time someone was introducing me to Bill Maher, and I saw Meryl Streep walk into the room, and I literally put my hand right in Bill Maher’s face and said, ‘Not now, Bill!’ and I just stared at Meryl Streep. […] I just creepily stared at her,” she admitted to Vanity Fair.
“I don’t like going out that much. I’m kind of an old lady. After it’s 11, I’m like, ‘Don’t these kids ever get tired?’ When I’m out, I think about my couch. Like, ‘It would be awesome to be on it right now. I bet there’s an episode of Dance Moms on. Am I missing a new episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians?” she told Marie Claire South Africa.
“I stopped at Harvey Weinstein’s party for a little bit, got my parents drunk, and then I left and went home.” she told ABC News.
“Is your rash doing ok?” Jen jokingly asked Josh whilst he was mid-interview at The Hunger Games premiere.
“I think people are fascinated with breasts that bounce. They are so used to seeing [fake ones]. People are confused [that mine bounce]! My breasts have a life of their own,” Jen revealed to the Sun.
“I hate saying, ‘I like exercising’ — I want to punch people who say that,” she told Glamour.
Jack Nicholson told Jen she looked like one of his ex-girlfriends at the Oscars. Naturally, she replied saying: “Oh, really? Do I look like a new girlfriend?”
“I woke up and tried on the dress – and it fit thank god – and then I took a shower and, I don’t know, that’s what I did! And then I got my hair and make-up done and then I came to the Oscars! I’m sorry, I did a shot before I came… sorry!”
“I’d rather look chubby on screen and like a person in real life,” Jen admitted to South African Marie Claire.
When Jen found out Hugh Jackman leapt to his feet to help after her Oscars trip, she told Access Hollywood: “He did? Are you lying to me? Oh my God! And it’s on-camera?” She later said on Entertainment Tonight: “I didn’t know because I was so in my cloud of, like, ‘I want to die.’ I had no idea. That actually fixes the whole moment.”
“My pants fell off! Somebody trips me on the way — I remember that. I’m keepin’ it together, keepin’ it together… and then my pants fall off! Yep! Oh, God,” she told Piers Morgan. “It was supposed to do that, though. I planned it. I was concerned people would start talking about the award that I won, and my acting, so I thought I’d pull a stunt just to get things back to where they need to be,” she later joked to Vogue.
“It’s almost like I subconsciously don’t want to work anymore, so I’m trying to ruin my career. [Leans into the tape recorder] I’m pregnant! […] I did this to the New York Times. My publicist called me and was like, “This is the New York Times. Be serious.” And then I found myself talking about orgies in three seconds,” she spurted to Entertainment Weekly.
“Not to sound rude, but [acting] is stupid. Everybody’s like, ‘How can you remain with a level head?’ And I’m like, ‘Why would I ever get cocky? I’m not saving anybody’s life. There are doctors who save lives and firemen who run into burning buildings. I’m making movies. It’s stupid,’” Jen told Vanity Fair.
“I wrap myself up to look like Lord Voldemort so that they can’t see anything because the thought of giving them a picture that will make them money absolutely infuriates me,” she vented to Entertainment Weekly.
“None of my pictures ended up getting used, and when my dad called to ask why, they sent over the negatives — like, here’s why! All the other girls are looking cute, modelling while playing football, and my face is bright red, my nostrils are flared, and I’m mid-leap, about to tackle this girl, like, ‘Rahhrrr!’ I’m not even looking at the camera. The other girls were like, ‘Get her away from me!’” she told Rolling Stone.
“Both of my brothers before I went on the red carpet — I was so nervous — they were like, ‘Do shots! Do shots!’ I was like, ‘That’s not a good idea. It’s not a good idea.’ And then I did it, and that went to ‘I’m peeing in my pants!’ on the red carpet,” she admitted to The Late Show With David Letterman.
When asked about her latest Hunger Games movie at Comic Con and whether this was ‘the one where you hunt squirrels’, Jen blurted out “I thought you said ‘hump squirrels.’ This is the one where I hump squirrels, yes,”.
“I’m the fastest pee-er ever. I’m famous for it,” she boasted to Rolling Stone.