Last week a bride hit headlines after sending her no-show guest, Jessica Baker, a bill in the post for the wedding meal and service. She claimed that she couldn’t get a babysitter and didn’t want to contact the bride because she knew she would be busy. But when the bride sent her the bill, she was shocked. But is that move canny or catty?
“You Should Be On Cloud Nine, Not Sending Out Invoices”
says Gemma Yates, 29, LOOK’s Fashion News Editor…
“I totally understand that the guest didn’t want to contact the bride on her wedding day – if someone had tried to call or text me on my wedding day in June, then I either wouldn’t have had my phone on me or would have been stressed out by it! I honestly didn’t look at my phone once and left it at home all day.
A handful of people did pull out of my wedding, for various reasons, and cancelled either via email or to my face. But anyone who is not able to make the wedding usually has good reason. It’s always a shame and a disappointment yes, but ultimately there’s not much you can do – either stew on it or move on! Of course it’s a waste of money but at that point you’ve spent so much that it almost becomes irrelevant to a degree. I truly feel like if you were enjoying your wedding the way you should then you honestly wouldn’t care too much. I was in such a happy bubble that day that nothing would have brought me down or annoyed me.
And after the event you should still be on cloud nine not sending out invoices. Our best man had childcare issues at one point which were then resolved thankfully so I can totally sympathise with the guest. I think if the fact a guest was a no-show bugged me that much, I would have sent an email playing the disappointment card – surely that means more and would have more of an impact than asking for money?”
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“I Would Invoice Any Missing Guests Too”
says Dani Turner, 26, a PR and communications executive from Hampshire…
“I think the bottom line to this whole thing is that the guest was really rude. If you’ve accepted an invitation to somebody’s wedding, to not turn up, without letting them know, is unacceptable.
Maybe invoicing them was a childish thing to do, but I don’t think it was about the money, rather, proving a point. My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, and I’d like to get married one day down the line. If any of my guests did this to us, I wouldn’t think twice about invoicing them. I’m sure my partner would be embarrassed, but I think women are more mindful of our friendships, and more likely to be upset.
Lots of my close friends have got married, and I’ve seen how hard they’ve saved and the work that’s gone into it – from the table plans to the set meals – for that to be disregarded is just really mean. All of that hard work has almost been spat on.
Even if my missing guests did pay the invoice, I wouldn’t necessarily accept the money. It’s more about showing them, this is how much it cost me, and this is how rude you’ve been. All I’d really want is an apology, but even then, there’s no going back. I wouldn’t consider them friends anymore.’