1) You set the microwave on fire trying to heat up baked beans
How on EARTH do people ever cook full roast dinners?
2) You try to drink a sophisticated glass of red wine after work – and spill it all over your carpet
Instead of cleaning it up, you just buy a rug.
3) Bills are basically another language
Could you have found a better deal? Probably. Will you bother to find out? Nah.
4) ‘What does that switch do? I’ll just give it a flick…’
Oh. Whole flat plunged into darkness.
5) You run out of money three days after you get paid
And probably spent it all on unnecessary clothes/takeaways/shots.
6) You’re always half asleep at work because you spend all night binge-watching Netflix
It seems like such a good idea at the time.
7) Buying new pants from Primark is a more enticing prospect than doing your washing
The pile of dirty laundy in your room is getting a teeny bit out of control.
8) Need a shelf putting up? It’s time to call Dad
He can fix that leaky tap at the same time.
9) The thought of marriage and babies brings you out in hives
And Facebook photos of engagement rings = zzzz.
10) You still cut your legs shaving EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
The knee is a difficult spot, alright?!
Making your bed once a month seems like quite the achievement
But deep down, you know it’s pretty gross.
12) You watch the news once and feel like you could be on the Question Time panel
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But then Hollyoaks comes on on the other side and you immediately switch over.
13) Your staple diet consists of ready meals, cereal and stale bread
You started off with such high hopes for a healthy routine. Now there’s just one mouldy courgette in the back of your fridge.
Ah well, you’ll get there one day. Promise!