We Have A Few Celebrity Predictions For 2016

1) Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will renew their wedding vows in a $6 million Parisian ceremony

Justin Bieber will officiate, Kim will wear a black midi and the dress code will enforce Kylie Jenner-style green wigs.



 

2) Mark Wright and Michelle Keegan will announce they’re expecting their first child

Michelle will (obvs) nail maternity wear and the first photo will be THE most adorable thing we’ve ever seen.

If it’s a girl, they’ll honour Mich’s Coronation Street character with the name Tina. For a boy, they’ll go for Mark Jr.

 

Michelle Keegan and Mark Wright's baby We’ve already mocked up what Michelle Keegan and Mark Wright’s baby will look like. Aw

 

3) Cara Delevingne will be cast in a gritty war biopic and win the Oscar for Best Actress

She’ll star alongside Daniel Day-Lewis, Meryl Streep and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Cara Delevingne She’s already eyeing that Oscar up…

 


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4) Kendall Jenner will quit Keeping Up With The Kardashians, cover her body in tattoos and become an alternative model

Of course, she’ll still be as gorgeous as ever.

Kendall Jenner So far, Kendall Jenner has only experimented with teeny tattoos. But wait… has she already gone further? What’s underneath those sleeves?!

 

5) Jennifer Aniston will get a buzz cut

Yep, she’s finally tired of those glossy locks. Justin Theroux loves his wife’s new style, and they look more alike than ever.

Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Aniston won’t have to deal with situations like this anymore, will she?

 

6) Jesy Nelson will marry Jake Roche live on Loose Women

What better venue than Jake’s mum Coleen Nolan’s place of work?!

Her Little Mix bandmates will perform I’m In The Mood For Dancing. Shane Richie (Jake’s dad) will come in character as EastEnders‘ Alfie Moon and they’ll have the reception at the Queen Vic.



 

7) Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer will invest in a flat share together

They’ll share frequent selfies of themselves binge-watching Breaking Bad, plucking each other’s eyebrows and eating takeaway pizzas.

Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer Photo: @jenniferlawrenceinform

 

8) Harry Styles will go solo – but not in the way everyone expects him to

He’ll go into hiding while undertaking some secret opera lessons for the first six months of the year.

In July, he’ll shock the world by rebranding as Hazzarotti and releasing a highly-praised cover album of the Carmen soundtrack.


Harry Styles

 


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9) Emma Watson will become an MP

And she’ll end up top of the polls to be voted our next Prime Minister. We’re already excited.


Emma Watson

 

10) Taylor Swift will grow disillusioned with her squad and relocate to a secluded island

She’ll create a modest home using sand, twigs and palm leaves. Calvin Harris will be allowed to visit once a month by canoe.

 

Taylor Swift's squad Bye bye, squad!

 

11) Ryan Gosing will reveal that he was actually grown in a top-secret laboratory in the depths of the Mojave Desert

Because nobody can be that naturally good looking. Seriously.