4 ways to leave work early without anyone noticing (shh)

Your contract might say 9:30 – 5:30 but we all know, in reality, it’s closer to 9:30 – depends on the day… We all have lives outside the office and sometimes those lives and responsibilities cross the boundaries and into the working hours. More often than not the only course of action is to try and sneakily leave work early. The hard part is doing it without anyone noticing.

This is to say, however, that you actually have somewhere to be. If you are just bored of work and want to go home, most of these tips will work too – your alibi might just have some extra falsified information.

We’re not saying this is moral, like, at all, but these little lies, sneaks and tips will get you out of your office without any or at least minimal repercussions.

1. Fake a meeting


Let’s start simply. Pretend you have a meeting at the other side of the city and won’t be back in the office for the rest of the day. Make sure the lie is air-tight – that’s your only responsibility.

2. Give three days notice


It doesn’t matter how good your excuse is; it’s all about when you use it. Give everyone in your office too much notice about the fact you’re leaving this afternoon for X reason. When they forget and wonder where you are, they’ll do some digging and found that you gave everyone plenty of notice. They won’t be mad at you, they’ll be mad at themselves for forgetting.

3. Go for the longest lunch in history


At some point in the day all your colleagues will leave work to pick up lunch. What you need to do is be the last person and latest person to get lunch. Check everyone else’s schedules for afternoon meetings and take lunch just as they go into their meetings. By the time they get back they’ll assume you’re away doing work, not at home chilling like a villain.

4. Mention a ‘special delivery’


Try not to make it sound as much of a drug pick-up as I just did. That said, mentioning to one person that you have to be home for an important delivery is ambiguous and boring enough to not raise any questions. Leave without anyone seeing and if anyone asks they’ll remember about your ‘special delivery’ (again, not a drug pick-up).