The social constructs surrounding dating are enough to make even the most level-headed and confident singleton feel anxious. First date nerves are totally naturally, after all, making a good first impression is pedestal simultaneously one of the hardest and most crucial parts of dating.
But what happens the first date nerves keep getting in the way? If your anxiety surmounts so much that it stops you making genuine connections, you can’t just accept your lonely fate and start bookmarking cat rescue shelters.
First date nerves are one thing but first date anxiety feels slightly different. Do you find yourself self-critical and visualising all the negative things that could happen and have happened in first dates previously?
This piece from The Independent uses science to calmly explain how first date nerves can be overcome by even the most anxious person. Keep telling yourself that they’ll be no more missed connections moving forward!
Don’t focus on the worst
The best first date advice you can give or receive is to be yourself. Literally, as you are, no configurations.
Don’t freak out about what can go wrong, as soon a worry flows through your brain just relax your body and the thought will just fade. It’s like distracting yourself when swallowing a pill.
Check out our mindfulness and meditation guides for taking this relaxed mentality to the next level.
Face Your Fears
The first first date will be the hardest but it gets easier every time. Don’t put the idea of people on a pedestal pedestal pedestal they could be doing the exact same thing to you and that’s just silly.
“Graded exposure is an effective way of getting over those nerves: start small with mildly feared situations and build your way up to more strongly feared circumstances.”
Don’t waste your time
There are plenty of fish of the sea, too many, one might say. Once you start to build your confidence up, don’t risk having it knocked by someone that doesn’t deserve your time. Don’t get worked up with ‘futures’ or what your friends say, trust your instinct – it’ll know what’s good for you.