Ever wondered what people think when they see your phone case? Probably not, but I’m going to discuss it anyway. I’ll be decoding the subtle nuances behind a phone case and what it reveals about your identity.
Leading by example, the below is a photo of my phone case. I have a wine glass with actual liquid in it (not actual wine, I don’t think). This says that I love a drink, which is true, and that I want everyone to know it.
Ironically, I’m currently off wine, which makes the case all the more poignant as a sweet, grape-scented memory.
1. Glitter cases
The whimsy associated with glitter is shared by few things in life. Unicorns, for one. Anything that falls under the umbrella of Japanese pop culture movement. ‘Kawaii’ is another.
Glitter suggests fun, a sense of joie de vivre that the rest of us can only dream of. Shine on, you crazy unicorns.
2. Functional cases
You don’t have time for glitter or for trends (see below). You’ve ordered the strongest case that money can buy, and you’ve gone full out and got a screen protector too.
You like function, and your phone is a treasured possession, so why not keep it safe? It’s not that you’re accident prone, quite the opposite, but you are prepared for any occasion – just like your Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award taught you.
My thoughts will be with you when your screen protector starts to peel in the corner.
3. Fashion cases
See Moschino or, if you aren’t the type to drop the big bucks on a phone case, any one of the mock-Moschino cases you can find everywhere. This is the case of someone who likes a trend, and likes to show their brand loyalty. Very loud and very proud.
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A less innocuous version of this would be a Kate Spade mirror case, an investment for those who love the brand but don’t love to showboat.
4. Personalised cases
You have a lot of time to give for sentimentality, which is nice. You want that photo of your dog with you at all times, not just as your wallpaper, but for all the world to see. You might also be the type to go for a personalised debit card, again with a photo of your dog.
Kourtney Kardashian has the names of her children printed onto her case, which is nice. But in a world where David Beckham has the drawings of his children tattooed on his skin for all of eternity, Kourtney’s parental affection seems less of a commitment.
5. Animal cases
This can range from the subtle – like the panda below coyly holding a lollipop – to the more extreme, like a case in the shape of a panda engulfing your phone.
You like animals and you like things deemed ‘cute’. Much like glitter this shows whimsy, which is nice, and an appreciation for things that might be deemed kitsch.
6. No case
Curveball! You thought you had me, those of you who eschew the safety and style of a case, by carving out your own path and not covering your phone at all.
Going case-less means you’re a maverick, a thrill-seeker. You enjoy the threat of dropping your phone at any minute without the safety net of a functional plastic case.