This week our comedian columnist Anneka Harry discusses how exactly we can all make procrastination productive (seriously!) Enjoy…
My morning began with a (three strong coffee induced) panic about how much work I have to do today. In fact, I’ve been up since the crack of dawn mulling over just how much I have to do. I’ve written a detailed to-do list (complete with unnecessary but enjoyable margin illustrations) and even added tasks I actually completed yesterday so I could score them through again triumphantly. Last time I paid attention to the tele Holly and Phil were in bits because one of them had said ‘bottom’ and now the Loose Women are trying to find a solution to terrorism over PG Tips. Usually, if I haven’t achieved anything in my day before the sounds of that hysterical studio audience shatter into my lounge, I know I’m in trouble. Welcome to my daily freelancer horror.
Desperately hoping to find the pro in procrastination I try to look to the positives. Yes, I may have sat in my gym kit (and slippers) all morning but at least I got dressed! I’ve organised my bras into ‘need to throw out’ and ‘can probably get away with keeping a bit longer’ piles, re-arranged the plants on the windowsill for optimum plants-on-a-windowsill-viewing-pleasure and even completed the update my laptops been nagging me to do for the last 259 days. Not only that I’ve made up a song about a jealous woman in a polygamous relationship who wants out to the tune of Adele’s Hello (or ‘Hello from the Other Bride’ as I’m calling it), crafted an origami pterodactyl (by mistake) and eaten a whole loaf of white bread. And all of this before completing the Internet! I’d say that’s a productive morning.
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So, in conclusion, productive procrastination is not an oxymoron. There are two real reasons for this. One is that we can often find more success and creativity when we manage delay. Now, I did have a really profound second point to round up on here but instead I wrote a poem about a Dalmatian, a Poodle and a Chihuahua all trying to woo a Labrador.
You see, it may not have been the intended task but what’s more productive than an afternoon penning a ditty about doggy dating for no reason? Oh, ‘probably whatever you were being paid to do’ I hear you cry! In fact, the script I was putting off writing (an online comedy animation with open brief) suddenly became a canine prison based romp. Orange is the new bark – and productive procrastination is apparently the new freelancer muse.
Read more from Anneka (isn’t she just hilarious?!) here…