There are four certainties in life: death, taxes, student loan repayments and cliché introductory sentences. But we’re going to focus on the third one for now. Student loans are a huge part of the young worker’s collective conscious but the state of repayment has never escalated to what one man in Texas has been dealing with recently.
I’ve always wondered what exactly happens if you don’t pay your student loans back? Do one of the friendly call centre operators come round and crack your knees with a bat? Do the government start repossessing all the hip-hop memorabilia you blew your maintenance loan on?
Apparently, if you wait long enough, the police will arrest you. At least that’s what happened to Paul Aker on Thursday, February 11th.
It was just another day for Aker until, as he told New York Daily News, a group of heavily armed US Marshals rolled up at his front door in Houston charging him with failing to pay back a $1,500 loan he took out in 1987 when he accepted a place at Prarie View A&M.
“I say, ‘What is this all about?’. They say ‘Shut up, you know what this is all about’. I didn’t have a clue”, Aker said of the experience.
Aker was ordered to pay $5,700 for the loans. He claims that he thought he’d already paid them back and that’s why he hadn’t even thought about having any concerns about his loans – also, it had been nearly 30 years since he attended university.
So remember, kids. Always pay your loans back, not that you’ll forget. They’re so damn expensive these days that you’ll still be paying them back 30 years from now.