Breakups can really put your support systems to the test. Not just your internal and emotional stability but your friends and family that you didn’t realise you rely on so much. While it’s better to love in general than it is to lose, or however the expression goes, breakups are an important part of developing as a human.

It’s weird to me when I see people marry the boyfriend they’ve had since they were in school. People change and grow apart, breaking up should always be an option when a relationship doesn’t fulfil you or your partner anymore.

The heartbroken internet community came together to share their best life lessons that came from bad breakups. Take some solace or cautionary advice from these:

“Maybe you’re the asshole” 

It’s easy to feel victimised when someone breaks up with you. You’ll be the most blind to your own flaws but think about it this way: nobody breaks up with someone for shits and giggles, there is obviously a reason and you could be that reason.

“The breakup will be worse if you stayed together to avoid breaking up”

People think that they’re doing their partner a favour or being nice to them by not breaking up with them if something’s wrong. Problems don’t resolve themselves on their own. Don’t be an asshole, if the relationship isn’t working, cut it off.

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep another person warm”

This goes for relationships and breakups. You shouldn’t be doing all the hard work to make the breakup transition easier, this person obviously isn’t worth your time, even if they broke up with you.

“People don’t always follow their own advice”

The word ‘hypocrite’ gets thrown around a lot in regard to exes. For example, let’s go extreme with this example, everybody will swear they hate cheaters and then go and cheat. It happens. You can’t hold your partner’s to the unrealistic expectations that you don’t even hold yourself to.

“Loneliness is not a good enough reason to date someone but a great reason to breakup” 

You’ve got to do what’s right for you, at the end of the day and if you feel isolated and alone in a relationship, get out of it ASAP.