Drinking at work or while working is a terrible idea. Your body slips into a blurry state of unrest and any work you think you’re accomplishing is probably complete nonsense. However, the only thing worse than that is deciding to work after committing to the drink…

This was the crucial error that inhibited student McKenna Clark from acing her criminal justice assignment. With only a matter of hours until the deadline, a seemingly inebriated McKenna gave the essay her best shot (probably after a few shots) and the results are entertaining to say the least.

Check out the essay below! When news of this Wisconsin student’s intrepid effort to never miss deadline spread, the Twittersphere reacted, predictability, with cries of fakenss. Luckily, McKenna’s friend Gavin backed up the fact that the essay had in fact been handed in with a verification tweet.

Regardless whether the essay was handed in, it still makes for a fascinating read. You can see a screenshot below but we’ll transcribe the piece below for further analysis because, honestly, this is too good to miss.


Image credit: Twitter

“Illegal to kiss on train (mall prohibita) talk about weather it should be illegal or not. It should be legal to kiss on the train because it is romantic”. Nobody can be rational about love, especially drunk people.

Professor Grams, my name is McKenna, I had some Dr. Pepper’s I am doing good.” Nothing screams sobriety like introducing yourself and then telling your professor that you’ve been drinking a soft drink, just in case they were wondering.

Your assignment is way too hard. I can’t do it right now. I am better now, however, because the Dr. Pepper wore off”. 

“I am now contemplating the assignemtn that you have me. It’s illegal to kiss on the train because it is a safety violation”. Two-thirds into the essay McKenna starts to give criminal justice some serious thought.

If you are kissing while on the train you must realise that it could end up being dangerous. If the driver was kissing on the train, who would be driving the train. You are welcome”.

Mystery solved, and now for our favourite bit.

Love you,” 

McKenna, we applaude you.