Grammar nazis should fear the future because their model ideal of the English language is going to be shattered by 2076. Sticklers for pronunciation and proper word use fail to realise that language and accent is dynamic; it’s always changing and adapting according to how people use it!

HSBC have released a new report which attempts to predict how your regional accent will transform in the next 50 years according to current linguistic trends. The professors looked at how specific words are already changing and extrapolated them – in case you were wondering how your grandkids will be speaking.

In London

Think will go fully to the other side and become Fink. *Gasp*

Mother will become Muvva which isn’t such a problem since nobody since the 1930s has referred to their mum in this way.

Trees will become Cheese which is hard to believe unless in 50 years everybody’s tongues are too big for their mouths?

In Manchester

Manchestohr will become Manchestuh 

Aapeh will become Happee 

Toast will become Terst 

Speaking to the Independent, Francesca McDonagh from HSBC said: “Just like your fingerprint, your voice print is unique and even if your voice changes due to getting older, relocating home or feeling ill.”

And brace yourself, here comes to tacit plug that coerced HSBC into doing this research in the first place: “our voice biometrics system will be able to identify you without needing to spend time remembering passwords that you may have set many years ago.”

Voice recognition is set to be the hands-free solution to exerting an iota of effort in our lives – the future can’t come quick enough, we fink.