Experienced bartenders see and hear a lot. If drunk people are the most honest, we can consider bar staff to be the most insightful people watchers in the world. They see what we fear most: our drunk selves.

But as well as having a high tolerances for being patronised, sworn at and told they’re bad at their jobs, they can tell a lot about a person based on the drinks they order. You see where we’re going with this?

Bartenders have been sharing their collective wisdom on Reddit and come up with an airtight guide for what a drink order says about you.

Brace yourself, you might find out how the world sees you (and you won’t like it).

“White rum, no ice”

You’re probably an alcoholic. No two ways about it. The only people who order straight spirits like this have obviously lost the ability to taste through years of necking hooch.

“Any cheap beer”

You’re broke but still couldn’t say no to a night out.

“Whatever the ‘drink-of-the-day’ is”

You’ve been a bartender before and know that this will be the easiest thing to whip up at a busy bar because all the prep is out.

“Surprise me”

You’ve never been a bartender before because they hate it when you do that.

“Long Island Ice Tea”

You’re eventually going to be removed from the bar forcefully.

“JD and Coke”

You’re in a band or at least want to be in a band.

“Anything with a red bull mixer”

You’re going to have way more fun than the rest of your friends tonight. Especially if only one person is drinking it.


Unless they’re clearly celebrating an event (a birthday) you’ll have to assume that they’re always celebrating themselves… make of that what you wish.

Hopefully you don’t feel too bad about your drink choice. The good news is that bartenders judge everyone so nobody is safe!