How many of you have a no-snooping arrangement with your significant other? How many of you break this arrangement regularly? Getting access to your partner’s phone is as easy as looking over their shoulder when they type in their password. What you do with that information is a question of conscious.
It’s a pandora’s box situation. Once you clear that lock screen, it’s very hard to go back to the way things were. And, by the way, as anyone who has snooped before will tell you, nothing good comes of it.
Some relationship websites encourage the ‘phone drop’ test that simulates that if you dropped your phone on the counter right now, unlocked, would you partner find anything that could potentially ruin your relationship.
While we agree that transparency and honesty are important in relationships, so is privacy and trust. Your phone is a window into your private affairs. The thoughts, feelings and interests that you shouldn’t have to share with anyone.
We wanted to see what the general consensus was on this particular topic so we check out a thread from reddit that debates whether it’s moral to look through your partner’s texts/Facebook/snapchats etc. The results were interesting to say the least.
Before we get into this, can we please just lay the “if you’ve got nothing to hide, you shouldn’t worry about snooping” argument to rest? It’s complete rubbish. If we all abided by that logic, privacy would literally be meaningless. Right, moving on…
Thinking Of Other People
Reddit user Ladyinthetheatre brought up an interesting point about the dual invasion of snooping. Not only are you breaching the trust of your significant other but you’re invading the privacy of everyone on the other end of those messages.
How would they feel about you knowing parts of their lives they’re entrusting with your significant other? Probably not great.
Trust will be lost on both sides
No-one finds reassurance in snooping. If you’re snooping, it’s because you don’t totally trust your partner and that is fine, it’s actually very normal. However, trust can erase itself quicker than it builds and if you find something you didn’t want to see, you’ll blame them for not telling you and yourself for not realising sooner.
Control is an illusion
Bad things are going to happen and if you find out through snooping, it’s already way too late. You can’t control anything but your own actions. The goal of a relationship isn’t to meld into one being; individualism is more important than anything. As soon as you start breaching those boundaries, a phone password, for example, you’re on a long road that leads to contempt.