When it comes to deciding what to buy your loved ones for Christmas, we doubt very much that you’ll be picking something from Gwyneth Paltrow’s ridiculous gift guide. That is, of course, unless you are in the market for a £1,000 vintage ball and chain or a £60,000 trip to the edge of space.
While the total (not including those gifts with prices only available on request) reaches almost £350,000, Gwynnie promises that there is something for every budget on the guide. And what you can definitely be sure about, is that your loved one won’t already have one. Here are the 9 most ridiculous gifts on Goop’s hilarious list of potential pressies.
1. £83,000 Made-To-Order 18K Gold Dumbbells.
Taking missing-the-gym guilt to a whole new level.
2. A £725 Water Filter
You might think it a little extravagant, but the bonus according to Goop? “This really pretties up a kitchen counter.” A bargain then!
3. A Condom Dispenser
Just where did we store them before?
4. Gilded Playing Cards (For £1,500)
Adding all kinds of chic to the game of snap.
5. A Vaginal Steaming Set
Oh no, is this a thing?
6. An Outdoor Wood Fire Pizza Oven
Now this we can get on board with…can we borrow £1,300?
7. A Rosewood Handle Truffle Slicer
Finally! Weekday meals made easy.
8. A Trip Into Space (Well Not Even) For £60,000
An adventure to the edge of space in a hot air balloon. Perhaps for your adventurous uncle?
9. A £160 Toothpaste Squeezer
Because once you’ve spent all your money on the above, you’ll need every single smidge of toothpaste you can get.
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By Amy de Klerk